The
Sermon Mall Central Page
Index
for Novelty ShopThis next letter appears to come from a young person. I don't think
we often believe that young people can have hellish experiences. So many
of our images about children are positive and exuberant. But the patterns
of adult difficulties are begun during childhood. Youth is a time of passion.
As we will learn, even modest things can take them to the heights, to the
depths or at least the edge of these rooms.
Dear God: Hi! It's me again! You know, the chubby, freckled kid in the back of the school bus. Whew! Am I glad to get out of the house! You've got to do something about my parents. They were fighting again last night. Dad was angry that Mom had overdrawn the checking account but she said "well why don't you record the checks you write?! "
"Grow up! " I wanted to say.
It got worse. It always does. Soon they were rehashing last Summer's
vacation, my older sister's boyfriend and who scrubbed the floor the last
time. "I DID!" I wanted to say, but I kept quiet. They've been
this way for months. Ever since my sister moved out and Mom went back to
work. I thought my life would get better. But it didn't!
I feel like it's up to me to solve their problems. But I wish they'd get
with it. I can't solve their problems and mine. "Get a life and let
me get on with mine!" I want to say to them.
God, I can't ever remember them being really happy. Why do grown ups get
married when all they seem to do is fight? I don't know anyone on the bus
here whose parents still like each other. Most of the time our meals are
just sullen with silence. Even when its just Mom, Gregory and me. Dad's
just never home. But when he is, everybody is just so tensed out. Most
often I have to cook for Gregory and me. Or Mom takes us out. That gets
Dad even more angry. "You're spending the money we don't have on meals
you should be cooking," he shouts at mom.
And then the phone will ring! They'll get in an argument over whether or
not to let the machine pick up the call. Mom's voice will change just
like that! " Hello! Purcell residence! " she'll say. Nobody
would ever know they were having a fight. I can't wait 'till I get my own
phone. "Oh no," says Dad. "We tried that one with Stacey!"
It's so unfair! She trashed her life and now she's ruining mine.
Hey, God, I guess You know we don't talk about You much. My friends talk
to me. But I don't know what to say to them. I sure don't have any answers.
Monica, she's the girl with the lavender book bag. I want her to be my
very best friend. She lives with her Mom but visits her Dad and his girlfriend
on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other weekend. All her Dad does is badmouth
her Mom when she visits him. Makes her mad! She said I could join her special
club if I would let her copy my Spanish. Sean, he draws the coolest
horses, got sent to his Dad's for bad grades! He'll be in Texas!
For failing his algebra and history!! Jeremy and Eddie get on the bus
every morning and start punching everyone. Hard! What losers! The bus driver,
Mrs. Williams, never does anything. Their Mom's a teacher and so they get
special treatment.
And then what about Maria? She moved here at midterm and nobody will talk to her. Nobody! I started to, but Monica said I couldn't be friends with her and talk to Maria. I bet she's real smart her Dad's a doctor somewhere, I think. She looks so sad, like even though her clothes are nice. She even brought brownies to me one day and I had to say "No Thanks! " God, I felt sooo bad!! But Suzy was watching me! And she'd tell Alice who'd tell Monica. They're all in Monica's club.
I'll be sooo glad when I can drive! They're already making
us watch those lame, gory movies about bad driving. I get so tired of everyone
telling me how much responsibility driving is! Stacey, my older sister,
really ripped Mom and Dad off. She wrecked her first car! She's ruined
my chances of ever getting a car! They think I'll be just like her.
Not!!!
God, I'm afraid! Adults think all teenagers are druggies or stupid. They
don't listen to us. They seem so wrapped up in their own lives. I'm unhappy
too! I try real hard. I get great grades, keep my room straight, help Mom
and pay attention in class. Next year I'm trying out for show chorus and
I practice my flute most days. Everybody in my life wants to give me orders
and I feel like I'm dancing as fast as I can just to keep up. Everybody
wants to have perfect kids or super parents, flab clothes and cool friends.
Me? I'd settle for one good friend and peace at home. In fact, God, if
You could give me peace at home that would be the one thing that would
make me happy. I can take care of the "one good Fiend. " I think
Maria would be one good Fiend. Have we got a deal?
Unhappy but optimistic, Jessica.
Whew! Teenagers usually tell it like they see it with INTENSITY!
God can be a pretty rugged negotiator. I wonder what sort of deal these
two will reach.
Dear Jessica: Your letters always delight Me! You pour out your
heart, suffer with your parents and laugh with your Fiends. Your joy and
vitality remind Me of why I created your species. I've known you before
your parents met one another. Let Me assure you that your life is unfolding
well You are making good choices. Using your freedom wisely is seldom easy.
This is the major challenge I give every human who reaches your age.
You are right about your parents They didn't choose one another so they
could be unhappy. But they have forgotten their initial delight. Each of
them is weighted down with responsibilities from choices they've made.
Both of them want the very best for you and Gregory. Yes, they even want
the best for Stacey, although they feel they've failed miserably with her.
Somehow with your sister they confused "the best" with "the
most." They blame each other for Stacey's poor choices. Too many parents
confuse the loss of a child's leaving home with the loss of a family. I
hope your parents will choose wisely.
Your sister attracts so much bad attention, and Gregory is the only boy
in the house, that I am sure you feel no one sees you. But I see you! You
do work hard! Did you listen to the robin I've sent to your window
each morning this week? You were in too much of a rush to see the way cool
sunrise today.
You've have been dancing too fast! I enjoy your flute your fingers
and lungs work just as I designed them to and one day your family
will hear you. I promise.
You are learning how to suffer with your friends. This is a hard lesson.
Many humans never learn this lesson because it costs too much. But you
are learning that the more love you give away, the more love you have to
give away. I made your species to work this way. When people hold on too
tightly to each other, it makes the other person disappear. Monica may
learn this lesson, but loneliness sometimes is disguised in the most gaudy
packages. Sean is not someone your love alone can fix. I am sorry, but
your love is not that strong. He has confused what is coming easy
to him with what is good for him. As hard is it may be to understand, there
are much worse places than Texas. Sometimes a change of scenery, at your
age, does give a new opportunity. As for Jeremy and Eddie, I can only tell
you that I get letters Tom them too Really. Trust Me!
Jessica, you are My gift to Maria. There isn't much time left, today or
tomorrow perhaps, so it is important that you speak with her. Don't be
afraid! I will give you the words to say. Just stand close to her and listen
to your heart. A touch on the shoulder will get her attention.
As for your request, peace at home is something your parents already have
the power to create. They only need to stop blaming each other for their
limitations and remember why they chose each other in the first place.
One last word See everything, overlook a lot and accomplish a little!
Vibrantly, G!
Personal I believe it is easy to confuse working hard with
being faithful. My holiness isn't measured by the length of my "To
Do! " list. It is awfully tempting to think G! has appointed me as
Attorney General when all G! has really done is given me the gift of life
along with the charge to love justice, walk humbly and pursue mercy. Somehow
doing those things shouldn't be arduous although they may call for making
tough choices.
Congregational Being a teenager is almost as tough as being
a parent! I believe we have a heritage of raising children in this congregation.
Lots of folks here have seen the storms of teenage life turn into the abundance
of young adulthood. This congregation can be a stabilizing factor for families
caught in the pressures of today's society. We can offer our young people
gentle, wise alternatives, we cad offer parents helpful companions in their
most primary task: loving each other with mercy and warm companionship.
Amen!
Donald D. Denton, Jr., D. Min., L. P. C
Stated Supply BrettReed Memorial Presbyterian Church
Coordinator of Assessment Services Virginia Institute of Pastoral
Care
Fax Number 1-804-288-4558
This Journal is published by Theological Web Publishing Partners. For more
information e-mail us at: webedit@theology.org
Go
To Top of Page